The Gourmands' Consequence
by HyperionX
Summary: After winning a battle, the Wu army held one grand celebration, to at least enjoy the fruits of their hard work. Some certain people get to eat a lot, perhaps a little too much, and now they have to face embarrassment, much to their dismay. Formerly known as "That Was Unexpected".
1. That Was Unexpected

**A very miniscule amount of content has been added to this chapter. (4/29/15)**

**I really recommend that you read until Chapter 3. I can honestly say that my writing has improved... a little bit after a few months, and this chapter was written when I first started writing. (5/03/2015)**

**Hello readers, this is my first ever story here in FanFiction :)**

**Okay, while I was writing this story, I imagined the characters in their Dynasty Warriors 7 costumes, but it's up to you whichever Dynasty Warriors costume you want them to be in, or you can imagine them in nightwear, since this takes place at night.**

* * *

Wu just engaged in one of their most intense battles yet. About some hours ago, during the night, they held a celebration in the castle for their recent victory. Winning that battle was already a big feat for them, as it made it possible for them to capture two provinces at once, and so, this celebration was grand.

There was just so much food and drinks to consume. More people were drinking than eating, so the few who ate decided to save some if the others ever wanted to eat, but since they were the first ones to enjoy the food, they ate as much as they can, though of course nobody's stomach is a bottomless pit, they'd get full soon, eventually saving food for the others. Though this was not the case for some certain people. They loved the food so much that they kept on eating. This grand celebration lasted for almost two and a half hours.

* * *

It was now way past midnight. Everyone was already asleep. There was finally silence and peace for once. That is until…

There was a loud fart noise. From which ever room it was coming from, it could be heard in the two rooms next to it.

But the question remains, where, no, whom did it come from? Well how else would anybody know if they're all asleep? This noise didn't wake up anyone anyway.

Almost five minutes later, there was another one, not quite as loud as the first one, but it was still quite audible in its neighboring rooms, which ever they may be. This still didn't wake up anyone, except for one person.

Sun Ce moved a little in his bed, already waken up by that noise, and slowly opened his eyes. The first thing or rather, person he saw was Da Qiao. They were both facing each other. That was not the case for long, as she shifted a little, letting out a quiet moan, that sound like when someone gets distracted from their sleep, and turned around, her back now facing him.

_Poor Da Qiao, she must have heard that sound too. Where did that come from anyway? _As if someone was listening to his thoughts, his question was answered right instantly.

Da Qiao just farted.

_Did she even turn around because of the noise, or just to do THAT in front of me? _He was surprised, not only because of what just happened. They've been together for almost a month now, and this is the first time he heard her do this. It was the most unexpected thing to come out from her, figuratively, and literally? Maybe.

_For someone like her, that's pretty loud. _Sun Ce couldn't get out of the room for some reason, probably he was just too tired to get up, but only he himself knows the reason.

She farted again. How many times was that already?

_Okay, I really should get out of here now. _As if instantly regaining enough energy, he finally decided to get up. He had to get out as the room was getting stuffy.

As he got up from the bed, he looked outside the big window in their room, and noticed it was still dark outside, with only the moon as a source of light, since no torches were lit up.

* * *

Sun Ce decided to take a walk outside the front of the castle. The moon was shining pretty bright, as he was able to see most of the outside part of the front of the castle. While he was walking, he saw Zhou Yu standing by the bridge, looking down at the river. The river acted as some sort of natural defense against attackers, making it more difficult than usual to invade the castle. Besides, there was only one way to enter the castle, which was the main gate, which was in the front. That is unless, they know how to climb the high walls of the castle.

Sun Ce approached Zhou Yu, though he did not see his face, as he went to him by the side, and asked, "Hey Zhou Yu, can't sleep too huh?"

Zhou Yu still looked down at the river, and shook his head as a reply.

Sun Ce got a little closer to see his face, and when he finally saw it, he was quite surprised. Zhou Yu's face looked very tired, the dark part under his eyes becoming more noticeable.

"Whoa! You've been planning on making strategies again haven't you? Zhou Yu, you gotta relax, I mean we just showed them in yesterday's battle what we're capable of, pretty sure they won't attack anytime soon. If they do, we'll just show 'em!"

"No Ce, it's not about that."

"Oh. What is it then?"

"X-Xiao Qiao…"

Sun Ce was confused at first "Huh? What happened to…"

Then he remembered the reason why he got up this early. With a shocked expression on his face, he came to a realization.

"W-wait, are you telling me that she also…"

Zhou Yu looked confused. _What did he mean by 'Also'? _He thought for a bit. Then he quickly found the answer to his own question, which he didn't find surprising at all. _Oh… _He slowly nodded at Sun Ce as a reply.

"HOW much did those two eat last night?!"

* * *

**Yeah, I think mentioning in the start that this will involve fart humor would be a bit of a spoiler, so... what do you think?**


	2. Proven Wrong

**I don't know what I was thinking when I started writing this story, and I can't believe I'm actually updating this. **

**Oh well, here's Chapter 2 of this weird story I thought of.**

* * *

Da Qiao slowly opened her eyes and saw the sunlight from the big open window, which blinded her a little. She sat up, now on the side of the bed, and stretched her arms, letting a cute yawn as she did so. She breathed in some air to finally start the day, but it was one that wasn't so fresh. She held her nose and grimaced. _W-what's that weird smell? Did someone try to invade us and left a… dead creature nearby? _She could easily overcome her fear of seeing people and animals die and the word "dead" itself, if she had the will to do it, but after what she had just experienced, she'll probably never get rid of it.

She was about to stand up from the bed, but she noticed someone was missing. _Where's Sun Ce? He usually doesn't get up this early… _Thoughts were coming into her mind, until she had this one guess. She frowned. _If this is one of his tricks again I swear, I'm gonna knock him out again! _From a scale of 0 to 10, with 10 being the scariest, Sun Ce would rate her "Rage Mode" an 11. Even most of the soldiers and officers in the castle agree on this. They do not want to get on her bad side, ever. She could probably be the female version of Lu Bu, but then there's Lu Lingqi.

She stood up, and proceeded to get out of the room rather quickly, as she was already being weirded out by the smell. Now she had her first objective in mind, to find Sun Ce. But first, she changed to her regular every day clothes. When she was out of the room, she saw someone on the other end of the narrow corridor of the sleeping quarters come out of their room. It was Xiao Qiao. She walked towards her. Her little sister waved at her, and she returned the gesture. When they finally met up in the middle, it was Da Qiao who spoke first.

"Hey Xiao Qiao. You seemed to have a good night's sleep huh?" As usual, it was Xiao Qiao in her energetic and happy personality.

"Of course sis!" then her facial expression changed into one where someone would think hard about something. Her big sister noticed this, and asked. "What is it Xiao Qiao? Something wrong?"

"It's just that I noticed this weird smell when I woke up. And it's not a good kind of weird sis." She pouted.

"Wait, I also smelled something weird when I got up." Da Qiao had to think again. What if Zhou Yu was part of Sun Ce's little prank? _That can't be right. I don't think Lord Zhou Yu would do something like that, but Xiao Qiao also noticed it. _She scowled, with the thought that the two of them would do a prank like this. Oh how embarrassing this is gonna be…

"Come on Xiao Qiao, let's ask Ce and Zhou Yu about this." She glared.

* * *

They walked towards the exit of the large sleeping quarters they were in. The exit led to the grand hall. They were searching, looking around to find the two boys. As they were looking, Da Qiao explained to her little sister that what caused the weird smell might be because of those two. Her little sister's response was somewhat an angry look.

"I can't believe they would do this!" she replied, with an angry tone in her voice. Another thing they noticed while they were searching was that some people looked as if they were trying to avoid them. It could probably be because of the current "Rage Mode" look they had on their faces, or it could be something else, something related to what happened after the celebration.

They finally found them. Sun Ce and Zhou Yu were talking to each other on the large balcony, enjoying the fresh air. The two girls glared at the two boys while going towards them.

Sun Ce noticed the two of them walking towards him and his best friend. He also noticed how angry they looked.

"Ce, we have to think of something to be able to-" he was cut off by Sun Ce.

"Zhou Yu, look…" he pointed towards the incoming girls. Zhou Yu looked towards that direction, and his face suddenly changed into a frightened one.

"Ce, w-why do they look so angry?" he asked him, hoping to find an answer.

"I don't know Zhou Yu, we didn't even do anything wrong!" He was right, they didn't do anything wrong. Of course, the girls were sleeping when that happened so it's obvious that the girls were oblivious to the embarrassing – no, VERY embarrassing thing that they've done. Sun Ce was thinking to himself. _Why do they look so mad at us?! There's nothing wrong with waking up earlier than usual, right? _He remembered why he woke up so early in the first place._ Well it's definitely not our fault that they did… THOSE after the victory party! _

Zhou Yu had similar thoughts as well. _How can those two eat so much in just under three hours? _He then remembered what happened after, and came up with something else. _Well, that explains why they kept doing THOSE last night…_

"Oh uhhh hello ladies, wonderful morning right?" Sun Ce chuckled nervously.

Da Qiao glared at him. "Mind explaining to us why there's a weird smell in our rooms?" She crossed her arms.

Both of the boys already know where, or who, the smell came from. Sun Ce tried to explain to both of the girls. "I… uhhh... you see…" He tried, but he failed.

"I knew it! Why did you even pull a prank like that?!" Da Qiao was really mad.

Sun Ce and Zhou Yu were confused. _Prank? I would never do such a thing! _Zhou Yu was never really into those kinds of things, he doesn't even have time for those as he always plans for the next battles, and as well as defending the castle.

"Hold on, what are you talking about? There was never any prank." Sun Ce said.

"If there was no prank, where did the smell come from?" Either Xiao Qiao was gullible, or she really trusted Lord Sun Ce because she believed what he said, without needing any further explanation.

Da Qiao was starting to doubt herself. _Sun Ce wouldn't lie to me, right? _But she had to make sure.

"Like what Xiao Qiao said, where did it come from? Please tell us the truth." She frowned.

Sun Ce looked at Zhou Yu, and whispered to him. "Should we tell them?" Zhou Yu just shrugged.

Sun Ce was about to tell them. "So, you two really want the truth?" The girls nodded. They are so gonna regret this.

"Okay… believe it or not, it was coming from you two." Sun Ce held up his hands near his face, preparing for a light punch or even a slap. But there was none.

Both of the girls had a shocked expression on their faces. Xiao Qiao spoke up. "WHAT?! Are you saying we smell really REALLY bad?! We bathe every day you know!"

Sun Ce and Zhou Yu facepalmed internally. The point just went over Xiao Qiao and missed, by a lot.

"Even if we don't bathe for days, I don't think we would smell THAT bad! Well... maybe…" Xiao Qiao hasn't experienced not bathing for at least two days straight, or maybe she already has, and probably just ignored or didn't mind the odor at all.

Da Qiao, on the other hand, was thinking about the situation. _I don't get it… why would it come from Xiao Qiao and me? It must be the enemy's strategy to discourage us!_ She was getting even farther from the point, just like her sister.

Sun Ce tried to explain things. "What? No wait wait wait! What we're saying is-" he was cut off by Da Qiao.

"I don't understand, how can it come from us?" These two girls are so unaware to their embarrassing act since they were sleeping when it happened, but if they were asked, they probably wouldn't answer what "getting it out of their system" means.

Zhou Yu and Sun Ce facepalmed internally yet again. _Did these two have a hangover from eating too much food?_

"Don't you two remember eating a lot last night?" Zhou Yu asked them. Just when the two girls heard the question, it's like they had an epiphany.

"Ohhhhhhhhhh!" Both of them said at the same time.

"Now I remember!" Xiao Qiao said, but became confused. "But what does that have to do with the weird smell?" Da Qiao agreed with her.

Zhou Yu was at the point of breaking. _How… can these two… be… so... oblivious!_

Sun Ce had to take over the conversation. "Okay, let's see… eating a lot of food will cause some things to happen inside you."

"But how is that related?" This time, it was Da Qiao who asked.

He didn't want to say it directly, but he had no choice, these two will never understand if he doesn't.

"That's it. You two passed gas, and I mean A LOT of gas late last night because of all the food you ate, that's why we woke up early and that's why it smelled like there was a dead skunk!" he said rather quickly.

Zhou Yu was curious about something. _If they were able to detect that odor just this morning, then that means… _He came to a realization._ They've been doing IT since last night, and they only stopped when they woke up this morning?! _He thought that those two girls' stomachs were probably bottomless pits. He's gonna tell this to Sun Ce later. He didn't want to tell the girls about this, to stop them from getting embarrassed any further.

The girls had a shocked expression on their faces again. It was hard for them to believe that the odor was coming from them all this time. However, they still didn't believe it.

"N-no! That's impossible! I would never do something like that!" Da Qiao was proven wrong shortly after when... she did it. She just cut the cheese. They all heard it, and looked at her. She has been releasing all those while she was sleeping, apparently it still wasn't enough.

Ever since his realization just awhile ago, Zhou Yu still found it quite shocking that Da Qiao still did it. _That's unbelievable... she still has some left? _Hopefully now there's no more, until the next time she eats...

She blushed so hard. "Oh my... I uhh... I-I-I'm so sorry about that!" She held her hands behind her back and looked down on the floor, trying to hide her face and its current redness. "This is so embarrassing..."

"It's okay Da Qiao, it's only natural." Sun Ce reassured her, and touched her shoulder. She looked up and smiled nervously at him.

Xiao Qiao, however, was still not convinced, and still opposed the idea that she too, also does it.

* * *

**End of Chapter 2 of this unusual story.**

**I'll just finish this, I did find some parts funny.**

**Hopefully Chapter 3 will be funny too, and I have some ideas for it already.  
**


	3. Denial and Rage

**This is probably the best and funniest chapter. :)**

* * *

Xiao Qiao still doubted the idea that she would also do such a thing. _I don't think that's natural at all..._ She frowned.

"What is it Xiao Qiao?" Zhou Yu asked her.

"I don't do that!" She stuck her tongue out, and put her hands on her hips.

"Especially not in those original modern day costumes they made for me!" She realized what she just said, and covered her mouth with her hands. _Uh-oh... I-I think I've said too much..._

The two boys were confused, even Da Qiao.

"Xiao Qiao, what are you talking about?" Her sister asked her.

She quickly answered, "Uhh nothing!" She avoided eye contact with the three of them, hoping they would change topic already.

* * *

Meanwhile, a section of the fourth section of the Great Wall of China just collapsed. People screamed in panic. One peasant cried.

"Why?! Why did it have to break now?!" He took out his sword, which was broken into two pieces. "And what in the world is sectionception?"

Another peasant passed by and saw him.

"I can't believe you're crying over a broken sword! My ancestors helped build this Great Wall! Now look what just happened!"

The other peasant replied to him. "Hey! My friend made this sword for me!"

"Well it certainly didn't last long. Not a good blacksmith." He had a mischievous look on his face.

The peasant was angry now.

"Why you little..."

They both got into a fist fight.

The peasant with the broken sword came up with an idea. "L-look! I-I-It's Lu Bu!"

The other peasant screamed and ran away.

The peasant just laughed and walked the other way, but he fell into the collapsed area of the Great Wall.

* * *

Going back...

"I think your denial has caused you to say strange things, Xiao Qiao." Zhou Yu said to her.

"Yeah, I mean your sister just did it." Sun Ce smiled and crossed his arms, and looked at Da Qiao.

Da Qiao blushed and held her hands together, and looked down in embarrassment.

"In fact, both of you released a lot of those 'monsters' last night." Sun Ce said to both of the girls.

Da Qiao blushed even harder.

"It's only natural to do it Xiao Qiao. Everyone does it." Zhou Yu reassured her.

"No! Nuh-uh! Not me!" She crossed her arms, and stuck her tongue out. She was acting like a little girl, as if she wasn't one already.

"Xiao Qiao, I've uhh... already witnessed... what you did last night. Please just accept the truth." The only time Zhou Yu would lie is when it's to deceive the enemy to give Wu a better chance at winning a battle.

Xiao Qiao finally believed him. "Okay fine, I believe you. But how come I don't remember doing it then?"

She has been living in this world for many years already, and she can't recall even one instance where she... burped out the wrong end? Zhou Yu and Sun Ce just find this hard to believe. Both of them had similar thoughts.

_She probably doesn't want to remember those times, and now she's forcing herself to forget it._ Zhou Yu was gathering all possible answers he could think of.

Sun Ce put his fingers on his chin, contemplating on the situation. _Something must've happened to her when she was younger that made her forget about it. I gotta ask Da Qiao about this later..._

Da Qiao was having thoughts as well. _You're just being stubborn now Xiao Qiao!_ She didn't want to say it to her sister, afraid that she might get mad._ Didn't I uhhh... already prove it... awhile ago?_ She remembered her little accident, and blushed.

_They haven't said anything in awhile now..._ Xiao Qiao was starting to get a little tense. "Uhhh guys? W-what's going on?" She laughed nervously.

With all the commotion happening between the four, there was one soldier standing by the wall, not so far away from the large balcony.

He has been eavesdropping ever since Xiao Qiao's denial, but what made him more interested was because of the weird random thing she said about costumes.

However, he was also speculating why she has been denying it until Zhou Yu said something. _One, she denies doing it. Two, she doesn't remember ever doing it. Three, Lady Da Qiao was embarrassed when Lord Sun Ce said she did it._ He was thinking hard until... success? _Could it be? That's it! Lady Xiao Qiao must've had the bad cases of mud butt before! That's the only possible answer!_ He had this triumphant look on his face. Of course, that was only his guess. But who knows... she does eat a lot, so it might be true. Not even Xiao Qiao herself remembers.

He felt so triumphant that he blurted out some words.

"Yes! That's it! WHO'S THE GENERIC SOLDIER NOW HUH?!" He put his sword up in victory.

The four turned and looked at him. "I think that's you. Now stand down!" The soldier's fear instantly went to the max, and put his sword down.

Out of the four, he didn't expect the person to say that would be... Da Qiao.

_I-I-I thought s-she was s-shy and t-t-timid?_ He was so scared because he thought he saw this aura of rage surrounding her. _I d-don't wanna d-die today!_

Zhou Yu and Sun Ce were frightened too. This is the first time both of them saw her this angry. _Wow I've underestimated her. This deserves a score way higher than 11 out of 10! This is like 9001 out of 10!_ Sun Ce underestimated her indeed.

Meanwhile, Xiao Qiao was just standing there. She's already used to her sister's "Rage Mode".

"I-I'll just c-continue d-defending t-his wall..." it was unknown whether the soldier was crying or not.

* * *

Zhou Yu decided to take it easy on Xiao Qiao first. "Okay Xiao Qiao, you don't remember it because you released it when you were asleep." _Hopefully all of it..._

"No, I mean how come I don't remember doing it while I'm awake?" That's what Zhou Yu didn't want to hear.

_How do I say it to her? _He was at a loss. He didn't want to say anything that would make her sad or embarrassed, but most of all, he didn't want to make her angry.

Xiao Qiao can do anything no matter how ridiculous or impossible it may be, like acting as bait, killing Lu Bu by herself, but apparently, stepping on a duck is her weakness.

Zhou Yu decided to cut the silence. "That's exactly why. You've been doing it in your sleep."

"He's right. But the truth is, if you didn't do... all of those last night, you'd probably let it all out now... until later." Sun Ce said.

"Oh... I guess... there are no more 'monsters' left in me anymore!" She laughed nervously and blushed lightly, putting one hand behind her head due to her nervousness. The other three chuckled in response.

There was silence, only for awhile. Being in her nervous state, Xiao Qiao accidentally ripped one. It wasn't that loud at all, but since the other three were close, they all heard it. She gasped.

"Okay... maybe I still have... a little left..." she chuckled and smiled nervously, held her hands behind her back, and blushed. The embarrassment caused her to look even cuter.

The three soon started laughing, and Xiao Qiao also joined in, her embarrassment already gone.

When the laughter died down, Zhou Yu spoke up. "I guess you two learned your lesson."

Both the girls blushed in response.

"I still can't believe you two ate so much last night!" Sun Ce said.

The girls tried to defend themselves.

"It's because the food was so good!" Da Qiao said.

"Yeah! And you can't just let good food go to waste!" Her little sister said.

"Besides, you two were mostly just drinking."

"We just can't help it when we see good food okay!"

With the girls taking turns talking, Sun Ce and Zhou Yu were bombarded with their defensive artillery. They just chuckled after.

"You two are such gourmands." Zhou Yu said. They all smiled.

Since they were still on the large balcony of the castle, they all looked out at the surroundings of the castle. Everything was just so calm in the forest, with its streams and rivers and their gentle currents, and animals wandering around.

"If only it was really this peaceful." Da Qiao wondered. _Will the wars ever stop?_

* * *

Meanwhile, the soldier who was "defending" the wall had doubts in his mind. _M-maybe I was wrong all along. W-what if... _He suddenly realized something. He finally gained the courage to tell the four about it, but he stayed in his "post".

"YOU'RE ALL WRONG! WE'RE IN THE GAME WORLD OF DYNASTY WARRIORS! WE DON'T BREAK WIND IN THE GAME! IT'S ONLY BECAUSE OF THIS STORY THAT BOTH OF YOU GIRLS HAD TO DO IT!"

* * *

In the collapsed area of the Great Wall...

The soldier who fell into the collapsed area felt some shaking and saw some debris fall.

"PLEASEEEEEEEEEE! Stop breaking it! It's already broken, don't make it worse!"

The shaking stopped. He just had one question in mind. "Now how do I get out of here?" He scratched the back of his head.

* * *

Da Qiao took one step closer to the soldier. "Didn't I already tell you to STAND DOWN?!" Her shyness wasn't even evident in her voice anymore.

Her three companions thought of the same thing. _It's like she's a whole different person..._

The soldier quickly regretted what he said when he saw Da Qiao's rage about to go out. "I'm s-sorry my lady! I-I d-didn't mean to s-say such t-things!" He held up his hands in defense, even if she was still quite far from him. That's how intense she is.

"Don't you 'my lady' me!" She crossed her arms and glared at him. "Come here!"

The soldier stared walking backwards and soon turned around and ran away.

"HEY! COME BACK HERE!" Her "Rage Mode" has been activated. She started chasing after him with her Pugil Sticks, which seemed to have magically appeared on her hands.

"Wait, did she have her weapon with her all this time?" Sun Ce was confused. Zhou Yu and Xiao Qiao just shrugged.

"HELP! A CUTE GIRL IS CHASING ME!" The soldier made it sound like it was a good thing.

Another soldier, who was walking, heard him, and said, "Congratulations man! You finally found yourself a girl!" He wasn't being sarcastic, in fact, he even applauded for him.

"BUT IT'S LADY DA QIAO! AND IT ONLY MEANS ONE THING WHEN SHE CHASES SOMEONE! WITH HER WEAPON!"

The soldier who applauded shuddered when he heard it was Da Qiao who was chasing him. "Oh... well... good luck surviving that!" _He's not gonna survive that..._

The chase kept on going.

* * *

"Well, she's definitely the strongest one in our kingdom." Zhou Yu said.

"Never underestimate Da Qiao. I even saw her carrying Huang Gai's Arm Blade one day during training. She didn't even break a sweat!" Sun Ce said.

"Well, I'm definitely proud to be her little sister!" She grinned. "She's so strong! But not scary."

"Hey, let's prepare the food so we can eat." Sun Ce said.

Xiao Qiao, of course, was happy to hear this. "Yay! Food! My Twin Fans should be able to help in preparing it!"

"Xiao Qiao, please don't eat too much again." Zhou Yu told her.

"Oh come on Zhou Yu, like you said, my sister and I are gourmands remember?" _Wait, when did I learn the meaning of that word..._

"But you don't have to overeat to be one." Zhou Yu said.

"Fine... I'll try..." she frowned. _But I just can't help myself! Sorry Lord Zhou Yu, if the food is good, I'm still gonna eat a lot!_ She giggled to herself.

They soon started to leave the balcony and the main hall, to prepare the food.

All the while, the shrieks of a certain soldier running can be heard within the whole castle, with an adorable but deadly girl chasing him with her Pugil Sticks that emit some kind of energy.

* * *

**Thank you for reading. I hope you enjoyed this story.**

**It's a good thing Koei decided to bring back the Twin Fans for Xiao Qiao.**


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